45 Things I Learned... 6

Friday, January 20, 2023

Birthday girl, aka môa, has evidently been receiving gifts for more than a week now. And it will probably go on until the end of the month or maybe longer. I used to cringe whenever anyone of my family or close friends offered me anything. I would get heart palpitations, feel uneasy, and sometimes even struggle to show a smile and me being thankful while I sensed sadness crawling up my spine. Yes. It was that hard to accept. It wasn't about the value of the gift. I'm not a Sheldon Cooper 🤪 It was more the fact that the person went into some trouble to get it for me. Except when it was a perfume or some no-brainer thing that showed nothing. And I don't like to be of inconvenience to anyone! I didn't experience any of that anguish while gifting anyone mind you. On the contrary, looking for the gifts, wrapping them, or preparing a self-made special bag or box to put them in give me an extremely elated sensation. Giving is part of my nature and I don't need a special occasion to offer something. I can be driving somewhere or browsing the web and a specific item gets my attention. Many times I would keep the gifts stored in my home until it was appropriate to present them. You can imagine that I sometimes ended up with boxes and cards that were of no use 🙈

With the years and the constant subtle and not-so-subtle suggestions of my closest circle of people, I started accepting gifts with more ease. It is to be noted that I always took in books with excitement. It was anything else that I didn't know how to be deeply content with, especially jewelry or perfume. Let me share with you what it took for me to better understand the obtaining process. Because it didn't come naturally to me at all! And I am still learning how to. Being non-judgemental, I never thought how come this person gifted me this or that. It was the idea that I was an inconvenience to them that bothered me. And the fact that they thought of it as an obligation to return my initial gesture... I was told more often than not that it is very hard to get me something because I rarely waited out on something I needed or wished for. I just got it for myself. And I have few wants as I am not attached to material things. Then a person very dear to my heart pointed out to me, the empath -what an irony-, to put myself in the other person's shoes and see that they wanted to make me happy to the best of their abilities and that their idea of a good gift to me didn't necessarily have to be what I wanted or even needed. It wasn't that clear to me that others would enjoy gifting as much as I do. It hadn't occurred to me that they can be happy just when they sensed I was merry because of them, something they did or acquired for me.

Some quotes about gifts and receiving that are good to keep in mind:

Love is the best gift because it's free to give and priceless to receive  - Jarod Kintz

Giving is better than receiving because giving starts with the receiving process - Jim Rohn

Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it - Rabindranath Tagore

For it is in giving that we receive - St. Francis of Assisi

Life is not a gift to be received, but rather infinite gifts that we can give - Benjamin F. Sullivan

The greatest gift that you can give another person is to gratefully receive whatever it is that they want to give us - Fred Rogers

The most valuable gift one can receive is thoughtful criticism - Eric Beinhocker

To conclude, I would like to share the following:

May no gift be too small to give,
Nor too simple to receive,
Which is wrapped in thoughtfulness,
And tied with love - LO Baird

What's your take on this topic?

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